Awesomely Bad

A most exciting and adventurous day here in Indianapolis. Dragged my sad and exhausted ass to work at 8 am with my full "fuck you, Monday morning!" look, no makeup, and funky hair. Turns out today (unbeknownst to moi) our head boss lady was showing up. Great. So I spend 2 hours madly cleaning our store to make it presentable... yes I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor a la Cinderella. Hot. No really.

I was scheduled until one o'clock and had been planning my day around the marvelous nap that would occur at approx 1:42 when I got home. Then I look at the day's schedule and I've somehow been scheduled until 5... even though nobody bothered to a) get my permission to change my hours or b) tell me. Cool, I'm broke anyway, no big deal.

Did I mention that I hand-scrubbed the goddamn floor?

Ok, so we've had nothing but torrential downpours ever since last night. Our mall (the oh-so-classy Castleton Square mall) is under construction and apparently the roof has just been resealed above our store. Which has been super, really. For a week or so we were living under a giant clear plastic tent to protect us from falling 'debris' during the process. Which is not only asthetically pleasing and a great sales perk but also super-reassuring.

No worries, everything is finally finished - so we were told - and some random member of the construction crew stopped by early in the day to make sure that we weren't having any leak issues with the storms. Which I thought was kindof nice, considering.

1:30 pm arrives. My boss and the head boss lady have both skedaddled for some lunch and I am hanging out near the entrance of the store doing my usual Miss America impression ("Good afternoon, ladies! How are you?!? Let me know if you need anything today blah blah blah vomit vomit vomit") when suddenly directly above a giant table of jeans the rain starts to stream in from above in a small but forceful little stream.

I go into my best Action Sally mode and start whisking all of those god-forsaken pairs of denim and khaki jackets onto a nearby counter. You really should have seen it, I was, like, awesome about it. We're talking Speedy Mc-Lightening-bolt. Except within approx. 38 seconds of the initial rain intrusion the goddamn ceiling LITERALLY opens up with a hole a foot wide and suddenly I'm standing in the middle of Niagra Fucking Falls.

So the whole lot of us starts running around shouting orders and dragging racks of clothes away from the blast site and making frantic phone calls to mall maintenance, our bosses (still missing and not answering their cell phones), our bosses' bosses, Jesus, Superman, Hogwarts, and the entire X-Men brigade. We kick out all of our customers, which admittedly was fucking brilliant and wickedly satisfying and shut down the store. Everything was flooded and we basically looked like the refugees you see canoing down Main Street in their drowned towns after hurricanes and tornadoes and whatever.

We finally re-opened 4 hours later, post clean-up and damage control. Oh AND our entire bathroom also broke AND (it really does get better!) exploded unthinkable sewer-spit all over the corner of our stockroom.

It was really a splendid day at the ATL.

Just wanted to brag in case any of you were thinking about bitching about going back to work today or whatever.

I win.

And it took me an entire hour to drive home when it usually takes 25 min or less. So I had that going for me, which was nice.

haha. I know. Don't even fucking say it... "Somebody's got a case of the Mondays!"